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The Potting Shed Paraffin Powered Proton Pounder Pistol

The power outut of this hefty pistol is surprisingly low, until you find out it is powered by paraffin. Despite the seemingly limited size of the tank, it has not been possible to fill it to capacity. We just kept putting more and more paraffin in, and it never filled up. It's mass does increase very slightly, the more you pour in, so we had to stop when it got too heavy to carry.

It produces a mild proton stream which is largely harmless to humans, but which is perfect for killing slugs. Gardeners, vengence is at hand, once we reverse engineer this one, we're going to make a fortune, it will be available from all good garden centres. In the meantime my succulents are unscathed this year.

PARAFFIN power

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